C H R I ST M A S O F FE R I N G S hristmas Competitio
eading my emails in the lead-up to the Christmas season, I
being punctual. They will offer me the job straight away if I send
find myself asking, Has everyone got a generous big
them my bank details so they can transfer my commission without
Rbrother out there, or am I the lucky one? I have reason to delay. It looks like they mean business, and the appointment
believe that somebody is watching me and knows every tiny detail
process is nothing like where I work! Maybe I will wait till I come
Of the 60 or so emails I receive daily, only a few are from people
It’s amazing how word gets around. How did they know that I
who have no concern about my wellbeing. For example, there
have erectile dysfunction? I do hope my doctor (or wife again) has
could be one from the Medical Journal of Australia asking me to
not dobbed me in. It’s hard to understand why a drug that is
review an article within 3 days. They could not care less if my wife
supposed to help with erectile dysfunction is called “soft” Viagra.
is sick or my daughter has an exam. Then there is the last reminder
Another email is about plain Viagra — ordering it is fast and
The Medical Journal of Australia ISSN: 0025-
from the College about my annual sub fee. The bank
secure. A third email offers me a discount on these tablets.
But I love the next email. It says if I try a certain drug I will
forget all my failures in life. (Like the five attempts at the
ails are from well wishers and fellow human
Fellowship?) Should I wait till I come back from Spain before
beings. For example, there is one from a friend who is the orphan
ordering it? I am in a real fix. The cheaper version of the drug
of an African cocoa and gold magnate. His father told him on his
promises that all my dreams will come true and that I will win my
deathbed about the 5.6 million American dollars and gold deposits
game. I wonder if they know that I am not the sporty kind! It also
in a US bank. Now that he has turned 21 he is able to get hold of
promises to harmonise my feelings (whatever that means!). Even
the money, with my help. All I need to do is start an account in
before I bought it I had an offer of refills.
Australia. With the 10% my brother is promising me from this
And how did they know I don’t have a PhD? A recent email
deal, my financial worries will be over. I could retire early and even
reminds me that the only thing stopping me from getting a better
go to Ivory Coast to have a holiday and meet him.
job and better pay is not having a PhD. (No doubt my wife
But things are not that simple. I have another friend in the
contacted them.) Apparently they found a loophole in the regula-
Middle East who says he found my name through “top personnel
tions, and if I send the money straight away, the PhD can be mine
in society and in aid groups”. He reassures me that the petroleum
in 2 weeks. Moreover, no study is required, so I can go to Spain
company he is working for is loaded. So he over-invoiced the
company and has transferred 27.5 million dollars to a bank in the
The only thing they have not found out about is my baldness. I
US. He would love to meet me in a neutral country like Spain to
am still waiting for that email with the quick remedy. Hope it’s not
see how he can transfer the money to Australia. He will pay me
All these emails have restored my faith in humanity. I am
I have decided to take the second option, as I would like to go to
thankful to you, my brothers (and sisters), for thinking about me
Spain. I have asked him to organise my flights. I could take my
and for your desire to help me. All my Christmases have come at
once! Merry Christmas to all my correspondents. I look forward to
An external auditor of a bank in Africa wants to have a
a prosperous, healthy, funfilled and happy new year with your
partnership with me. He has found $95 000 in an account and
would love to transfer it to Australia. If I send him my account
(Received 18 Oct 2005, accepted 31 Oct 2005)
number, the money can be transferred the next working day and Iwill receive 40% of the amount. He will look after the legal andbanking issues. I wish we had banks like that here!
Teaching and research are not well remunerated. My wife was
keen for me to do some extra work. Fortunately, the following joboffer came: “Requirements for work with us: age from 20 till 60years, inhabitant of Australia, opportunity of Internet connection,opportunity to check email not less than 3 times a day, the bankaccount in Australia, the responsibility, accuracy and punctuality,knowledge of the basic purposes of household and office technicalequipment”. It seems I have all the essential qualifications except
Centre for Medical Professional Development, John Hunter Hospital, New Lambton, NSW. Balakrishnan R Nair, FRACP, FRCP, Director and Clinical Professor of Medicine. Reprints will not be available from the author. Correspondence: Professor Balakrishnan R Nair, Centre for Medical Professional Development, John Hunter Hospital, Locked Bag 1, New Lambton, NSW 2305. [email protected]MJA • Volume 183 Number 11/12 • 5/19 December 2005
ANNOUNCEMENTS / VERBANDSMITTEILUNGEN I 489 DGA Info Innerklinische Akutversorgung des Patienten mit Schädel-Hirn-Trauma Aktualisierte Empfehlungen des Wissenschaftlichen Arbeitskreises Neuroanästhesie der DGAI Dieses Dokument ersetzt die Empfehlungen des Wissenschaftlichen Arbeitskreises Neuroanästhesie der DGAI zur„Innerklinischen Akutversorgung des Patienten mit Schädel-Hirn
O que é a febre? Causas da febre Como medir a TEMPERATURA CORPORAL A temperatura corporal pode termometros de ouvido têm embebido em alcool, antes e mento das instruções de utili-depois da cada utilização. Os zação (rectificação do canal A produção de pirogéneos pode resultar de exposição ex-cessiva ao calor ( excesso de roupa, sobreaquecimento do Paracetamol –